At last I am beginning to accept something about myself which can only be described by others as boasting or, in Australian parlance, skiting. Currently showing TV series about bright children has undone some restriction I had been placing on myself. I have been saying it in poetry for years and time I listened to myself.
One measurement has had me labelled as ‘gifted’, another reported ‘genius’ – also commented as such by a mathematician on reading how I use an array of hexagons in the planning process for plotting a novel.
It is one thing to have someone else say it, another to accept it oneself. The reason I am now without teeth is that I was busy grinding them from an early age. At least since age 7 that I can recall. My mother’s only known remedy was to dose me for ‘worms’ which was a common fallacy back then. Such underlying anxiety would, these days, be recognised as such, but back then, 70 years ago my mental state was hidden behind the request to be ‘a brave little girl’ when my mother had to leave me in charge while she was forced to deal with a traumatic event. When 55 years old, I woke in tears, sobbing my heart out as I no longer had to be a brave little girl. I still ground my teeth. And so very many people think one’s brains are so attached! 🙂
One novel under my belt and out there for the world to judge. I am now on the second during which I intend to do some judging myself! Have deactivated my Facebook account until the first draft is completed. I have lost/mislaid my Steemit password which cannot be recovered. This disengagement allows my attention to writing, instead of just thinking about writing.
The plot for the next novel has been outlined and this morning I wrote the first 500+ words which I will take to the Wednesday Writers for critique tomorrow. This is a small group, but one I hold in great regard and whom I will be delighted to list and acknowledge their contribution to my work.
This blog will be my only outlet now. I will not know if you have read it unless you comment, so however briefly, please say ‘hello”.
Or, if you are in the area, visit Friendly Street Poets, first Monday of the month, or the poetry readings at Mama Jambo third Monday. My two outings.